Akrasia
"I think I have always seen my own lack of self-control -- that is, my impulsive spontaneity -- as a kind of luxury good, and so I'm loathe to voluntarily slap a tax on it. I never again tried to bind my future self by preemptively imposing a loss that my present self would have to scramble to recover simply because the option of relatively cost-free slacking feels to me like freedom, and I found the loss of that sense a bit suffocating. That was, in fact, the point: to manipulate myself into wanting to do what I wanted to want to do. But I resent feeling manipulated -- even if I'm doing it to myself. "
written by someone else but reflects my present state of mind.